I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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