We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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