I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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