woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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