final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
