saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys