they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
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he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Randomize
