hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.