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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.

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• (626): View more from California

  You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....

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• (360): View more from Washington

  There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (415): View more from California

  I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize

  (1-415): View more from California

  Can I have the second place winner?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  It all started with a game of naked twister.

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