Soap is not a condiment
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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