giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
