my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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