Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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