Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize