M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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