he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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