We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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