haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
