In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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