how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
