who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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