I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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