dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
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he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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