Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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