I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
