Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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