Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
