I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Dicks are not precious.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
