operation have a gay friend backfired
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
