I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
