Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
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If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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