My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
birth control should be required to get into college
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
