But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
