I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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