people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
