So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
