yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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