I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
