oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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