There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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