It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
