i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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