I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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