so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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