I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
