Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
