he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
