you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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