i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
