Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
