Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize