grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
