That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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