Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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