what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
