in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
