I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize