I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
