We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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