i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
