I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
birth control should be required to get into college
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
