How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize