well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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