I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
