Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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