You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
