so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
